Men's Health, June 2009I don't want to wait til my mid 30's to know that. I know that now. I don't hardly care what others do, unless they are being assholes. Then I do care, and I'll say it too. That's the only time I'll really bother to dis them, even if it is unrelated. For example, when trendy ass hipsters are being pretentious, I'll make a comment on how lame they are to let them know they don't rule the world. To make them second guess their awesomeness. But to any other person, I don't care. I will, however, often look at something cool and think "Wow, I really like that hairstyle, that's really bold of them" or "That person is very pretty in a natural real way." Of course they probably think I'm looking and thinking negatively about them, hence how people always have this paranoia that he is saying they shouldn't have. I know that it happens to me as well. I don't believe that anyone is totally free from it. People are so judgmental now a days, there ARE always some people who look for something to talk about. But overall, it doesn't bother me so much if someone doesn't like my outfit, if it's not fresh enough for them. I'm broke. I have to worry about my kids shoving pennies in their noses. Not the hottest most expensive trends that in reality, aren't so hot or worth the money. And I don't even have to justify it. Maybe I like it.
Sometimes I'm stuck in clothes I don't love for reasons I've mentioned, and I think that's when you are the most self conscious. People want to feel like they are expressing some part of themselves because now fashion has that ability! There are so many styles and it is culturally accepted to choose from any number of them. But at the same time, no one wants to be judged solely on that, and people want to be looked at as more than their style. I think overall the more comfortable you REALLY are, the less it will bother you. Meaning that people will feel more comfortable in a style that they feel fits their personality, but also the more you have your priorities straight that it isn't the most important thing, the less you will care if you don't meet that standard. For example, I honestly don't feel so much like me when I'm dressed Amish and I feel awkward and uncomfortable. But if I'm in jeans and a tee, I'm not going to let it bother me that I bought them at Target. If I like it, I like it. I don't try to compete with the world for the newest Coach bag, so I can't be embarrassed if I don't have it. You really know you are trying too hard to look good when you care too much what people think about your look. I guess that's why its hard to believe people who go with trends when they say they don't care what people think. Sometimes fashion is a gamble, and sometimes things you liked then you don't like now! But you have to be real to yourself and know that it was either a long shot or admit you liked it then. We all know what we looked like in the eighties! I just feel that many people now do things to fit into the image hype without even liking it at all. There is this sort of nervousness they carry but they try so hard to make it seem like they feel cool and sure of themselves. And my point is, if they really liked it, they'd be more comfortable with it. And they probably wouldn't do such weird things in the first place.
It all seems so obvious when its written out like this, but I don't think so many people really know it enough to relax, or maybe we all need a little reminder. Because its hard out there with judgments and criticism. But try to be yourself, even if your this guy.
Because other people probably don't care as much as we think, and for the ones who do, eff em.
I always wondered about those peculiar people that obsessively follow trends. Personally, I'm just too lazy. I like what I like and I wear it.
ReplyDeleteIronically, I don't even like what I wear - it's just functional! Great blog, though. And MH is dead on - nobody is evaluating us as much as we're evaluating ourselves! (And like you said - if they are, F 'em!)
ReplyDeleteI think that's a problem though. Remember your "homie" outfit? You said you'd wear it out in public, and to be funny you might. But you know you aren't that personality, and I think when you wear something that doesn't fit you metaphorically, you feel more uncomfortable in it. Especially if you are trying to pull it off like it is you. I guess I don't see clothing as just functional or we'd be in toga's or something. Certainly women would be in pants over skirts. And if its solely for function, I'd want it to be comfortable too. I think your look is for uniformity rather than function.
ReplyDeleteUniformity? Ouch! (At least you didn’t say CONFORMITY!) ;-) I guess you’re at least partially correct, but on weekends I prefer jeans and T’s to my suits and button-downs.
ReplyDeleteI’ve always been a very conservative dresser. On more than one occasion, I’ve changed my look, but I’ve never maintained it in the long run. I always revert to my baseline because being fashionable just isn’t important enough for me to put in the work!
So... if it's a problem that I don't especially like my look, but I'm not comfortable in looks that really aren't me, what would you recommend???
Well it is true! Its not an insult. Many groups want a uniform to be easily identifiable. Its just like skinheads. Anyway, I can't tell you what to do. That's up to you. But you are at a fine line because its possible you would prefer something else but have social pressures to not dress that way. Do you think your community minds if you wear jeans out of the house? If not then keep doing what your doing.
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