Happy First Birthday, My Little Lyla Bean!

Today is also Lyla's first birthday, and she was born around this time of day too. (1:34pm?)


I am happy but also sad, because I don't plan on having any babies anytime soon, and I miss the baby age. When Zalah turned one, I already had another baby! So I didn't have that sense of missing that stage. I wrote about that whole mix of feelings before, here. All this time it's been very hard for me to accept that she is growing up and would be a baby no longer. :( Still, it happens and I have no control over it. On a similar note, weening is harder than I thought. With Zalah, she was cut off, so it was easy. And for me, I was still nursing so it wasn't like I felt I was missing something. But with Lyla I am hesitant. I do want her to stop, so its more for me than her. Really it's that I don't want to lose the ability to produce milk. It's a rare superpower that I have, and am pretty used to it. I think it will be traumatic to not be able to make milk on a regular basis (or at ALL!) even though nursing is annoying at times. I have been trying to get her to sleep though the night, but I've nursed her a couple of times as well. We'll see how that goes. Anyway, Happy Birthday to my adorable, little baby poof butt!!! I love you Lyla!!!

Here are some favorites from the past year <3 style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3Tia3zo1xb3Voh9zWq7Q_zu1KlQLjTWnwHkM3r_CVdkSngjWYzfyoELvkHyEENfPCAFnP2mnFbndiN0e04VBfyGJBmcIm9th25ggM9nuCRMkRprxoA3aextRJ_eGftsuAaQVV3kEO5pGw/s320/sleep.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5421471067516847522" border="0">

Cloth Diapering Revisited

I am a multi-tasker. Sometimes this works out, sometimes I end up in the middle of twenty things that are unfinished. (Usually this is because some "child-crisis" happens. On my own, I can finish things up pretty nicely.) The reason this relates is because I recently tried cloth diapering, and being me, I felt guilty not going in 110% and diapering BOTH kids at the same time. This is for green reasons as well as practicality; the "It's here, why not" idea. As you can see, that didn't work out so well because its going from 0-2(massive-poops-in-cloth-simultaneously) not to mention my inexperience with it since I started late in the game, while they were older. Since then, I've only been cloth diapering Lyla, the one year old. While she isn't a newborn anymore and has solid bowel movements, it was definitely a lot easier. Firstly, one year old poops compared to two year old poops are very VERY, did I say VERY different!? Starting out at least from here is a lot easier than just going straight to the danger zone. And at least hers come off better than Zalah's. I worry a little that she isn't drinking enough, but maybe Zalah is just eating too many prunes!

Now, I'll be hoping to keep cloth diapering her until she is also older, age two if that is necessary. But that brings the second point; its just one of them. I guess I didn't want to think "one more" would complicate things further, but if you think about it, its double duty. Double doody. It's not the most fun job around, but it is a whole lot easier.

I do wish that Zalah had the benefit of potty training earlier, but since I started (and finished) cloth diapering her so late, she would have none of it. She HATED being in them, and I don't blame her. Even Lyla hates it, but I can force her a little easier for now. I sort of wish I had started earlier for this reason, but my original hesitancy was access to the washer and dryer, and lo and behold, they are broken. Having half as many diapers, however, has made that situation bearable since I just take them to a friends house and have to do that less often then before. Maybe Lyla will potty train earlier (I was aiming for 2 years old in general) because of the cloth diapers and big sister influence.

There are some things that I now appreciate since the whole thing has become a bit easier for me. The cloth diapers REALLY DON'T LEAK. That is incredible. I feel like younger babies leak more in general, but one would think cloth would leak as well. Nope, that part has been problem free. Rather they absorb all over, so its wet right under her belly button and all through the front, but not outside. (I can see why they hate that feeling though!) And these babies REALLY do absorb!! Some days I change her 3-4 times like I did in disposables. Nice.

There also really is NO rash. It seems impossible, but her tush is nice and clean and peachy. :) I sometimes even forget to wipe her after a pee pee! When I cloth diapered both, I had to wash the diapers so frequently, that they ended up in disposables half of the time anyway. Since I've switched to Lyla exclusively, she's only been in disposables while I wash them, and that's now less often. I still only have two covers, so I just wash them both when I do a load, hence the need for disposables at all. I never have gone through all of my diapers in one load. I have 18 in all, and my usual load is about 12 or so. Maybe I should invest in a few more covers!

That brings the next issue: the covers. Previously I mentioned how they smell a lot. They still do, sort of, but I've let it go and reuse them, sometimes all day. I think actually washing them in a machine that WORKED helped get rid of the smell. Sometimes I also air them out overnight while she's in another one and that also takes off some of the pungency. *Speaking of pungent and diapers....they both need some right now!*

That brings me to how I clean them. This is sort of gross, but if they are just pee or a poop that comes off easily, I rinse them in the sink. Then I do the rest of the steps. Today, however, Lyla had a sticky poo. First, I scraped it off with my knife. *still gross, and no picture for that one...*

Then I emptied my bucket of dirty diapers, and rub off the excess with water in there.

This is the second or third wave, so the water isn't so murky anymore. I dumpy my 'brown water' in the toilet and usually that flushes the whole thing.

Next I wring it out and spray it with Bac-Out.

This is how much of a stain is left when I'm done with my pre-treat phase.

Then I hang it over the bucket edge to dry for a while, or until I need the space for a new one.

This way, the diapers aren't to stinky or covered in poo so I can afford to wait a teeny bit to wash them, and worry less about staining. I also bought a new cat litter that came in a tub, so I'm planning on using that as a second bucket so I stop getting my nice one all poo-filled.

I do feel pretty gross after this still, but Zalah's were FAR worse. Lyla is also in her wiggly stage (which is a pretty long lasting stage) so dressing her or changing her is always a challenge, but I guess that would be for disposables as well.

So thankfully, Cloth Diapering is looking up! Though I still think FuzziBunz are the best!

Someone Take My Breast Milk!

I am about to ween my baby girl Lyla. This is scarier than I expected, since I weened Zalah by just cutting her off, but I never stopped nursing completely. So alas, it's been two years roughly, of straight nursing! I have a picture of when I last nursed Zalah, when she was 11 months old. It was in the hospital after Lyla was born, and seeing me nurse made Zalah very upset. So there it was; one on each side! Nursing has its ups and downs, the smallest of which is that it can be a pain to do and sometimes it feels irritating to have a little wet mouth on your boobs all the time. But it's special too, and I will miss that now that I won't have it. Lyla is my little baby in a string of constant babyness for the past years, all of which will abruptly end when they are both suddenly toddlers. (LORD I CAN'T WAIT! :P) Although I don't want to nurse her for much longer, I don't know if I'm ready to stop making milk. I don't think I have a ton of it, and I do wonder how strong it is since they are so small, but I like being able to do it and I would really love to be able to help out someone else while I still can. You've got to admit, it's a rare opportunity!

So I posted on Luach that I wanted to donate and looking for numbers. I received two emails back and called one of the numbers (for Bikur Cholim). They gave me some woman's number, and she is going to see if she knows anyone who needs it. She asked me how many bottles I had, so I guess they are just looking for frozen. I also emailed the hospital nearby but am waiting to hear. Pumping is a pain and I know its a big commitment. Even if there isn't a specific person you donate too (which there usually is because of allergies etc) you would still have to pump often enough to keep it going. I have heard that certain hospitals will come and pick up your fresh supply daily. That would be great.

I know I don't have all the time in the world, but I've thought about this for a little while and think its something I really want to do (or at least try!) I will keep you posted on the progress! And if anyone knows where to go next, please pass on the info!

Picture from http://sirensmag.com/ which is my new favorite site!

Period Post (Guys may want to pass...)

I recently tried two new "green" changes in my house that had to do with bodily functions. One was cloth diapers, which I posted an update about recently. The other was the Mooncup. Let's talk about it now.

I had been looking into using a menstrual cup for a little while now, but I wasn't really sure what brand to get or what size. First I looked at the Diva (and also the disposable "Insteads" for a bit) because they are the most popular. I found this chart and community online which is very helpful for any questions. I have had children, but I'm under 30, so for Diva's sizings I was sort of lost. I asked them which would be best, and mentioned my IUD. They sent back that it was not recommended to use a cup! I was bummed but continued on. Eventually I heard that people do it all the time, so I went back to it. I have no idea what 'size' I am, but I guessed a medium. Diva seemed a bit long for me since it was on the bottom of the length list, and I didn't think the 'virgin' sizes would cut it. Also I took into consideration capacity and width. I looked at a few brands, mainly Mooncup US and UK. They don't sell the UK one here so I tried to see if the US one was similar. It got mixed reviews, but again, not one size is fits all, so maybe that was it. I checked prices on Nextag and went with it. I ended up buying from South Coast Shopping for a total of $25.53. Considering that it can last up to ten years that's an awesome price!

It came in the mail a few days later, and I realized I bought a size B. Since I was looking at Diva's a lot, I must have been thinking that a B Mooncup is the larger one, since the A Diva is smaller and the B is bigger, but its reverse with Mooncups! Even though I felt the Diva would be too large lengthwise, the bigger Mooncup sounded about right. I TOLD myself not to do this, since the Mooncup B means "Before Childbirth"! I messed up anyway! I meant to get the A! ("After Childbirth") I considered returning it, since the site allows this, and I know for sure that the Mooncup site does up to 30 days, no questions asked. I figured it's here, lets try it. If I had to, I'd get another one or return it. First things first, that stem had to GO! It bothered me a lot. It is there to help removal, but I felt comfortable enough with myself that I didn't feel I needed it. But once I chopped it off it was great. I now forget its there most of the time!!! They say that about tampons, but most women I know do NOT think this is the case. I don't know about you, but tampons are drying, gross and don't stay securely put for me.

Now anything new takes some time to get used to. I finally had my chance to 'try it out for real' and I had a pretty heavy period! It did leak a few times because it was just so much, but I was able to wear it at home with a liner. I stuck to tampons for my full day of classes. I even leaked with the tampons, so it was bound to happen either way. But because of the cleaning process and how new I was at it, I stuck with what I knew for now when out. But at home, it was a cinch. I have that bottle from the hospital that you use after childbirth, and its my best friend! I clean off the cup (and myself) right on the toilet and its all taken care of. I read you can use a sport water bottle to do the same in a public rest room when you are ready for it, or just use toilet paper or paper towels. I like water better. Besides that, I think it was fairly easy to get used to. I check that its in right with my fingers. This is something I'm ok with, but I find that not everyone is. I've been using applicator-less tampons for ages anyway. Removal also is pretty easy to get the hang of, especially if you watch some you tube videos on the topic.

Another added benefit is that it actually does NOT smell!! I didn't believe people when they told me this, but it is absolutely true. I also noticed that its kind of neat to see it in there, something I heard of on the menstrual cup community board, but thought it was a little strange. I wondered why I had this sudden loopy feminist fascination of period blood. I thought about it. We as women, never really *know* how much we bleed, and certainly men don't. It is definitely a taboo subject, and even though we talk about it enough among women, I don't think we let every detail fly. I realized that I actually get to SEE how much I bleed, something I think I should know!! It's also NOT as dark and gross (or smelly!) as it is on a tampon or pad and has a rich red color. So the whole idea of "period" goes from gross to interesting and "not ugly" any longer. As a matter of fact, I found this. I LOVE it. I think her medium and the way she represents it goes in perfect harmony. Its new, its interesting, its still slightly taboo, but represented in a feminine artistic way that doesn't come across as demeaning or subjective.

I told a friend of mine that I loved this latent feminist empowerment aspect of the cup! In addition to that, it made me think of how if women try to use it, for money or environmental reasons, they might be almost forced to know their vaginas a little bit better. There can't be anything wrong with that! I thought about how guys certainly don't understand or know vagina so well in the first place (even if they claim they do) but as women, how come we don't "get" ours? I really think its because of the societal aspect of how much a part of us is taboo. Some people seem to feel the same way about their vaginas or periods as they do about their posteriors or feces! Yet at the same time, we have sexual intercourse with our vaginas, and society is so sexualized, that there is this love-hate relationship with them. Vaginas are mysterious...a penis is just there. Its mystery ends at the wonderment of it going up and down. We have a whole lot more going on, much of which deals with the fact that we can create an entire life and then give birth to it!! That's a lot of power. It makes you wonder why we were so meek throughout the centuries...think about it. Not to mention that even though today we are not so much like our ancestors, I could argue that we still have a ways to go. Some idiot told me that feminism was basically debunked since all the aspects of it have been met already! HA! As if equal pay was the most important thing, and even that hasn't happened. No no, I could go on, but the more I learn, the more I realize that society does not understand, and neither do we. So I'll save you from more of a tirade, but I do encourage women to get a little more in tune with themselves, in whatever way they know how or feel most comfortable with. Revolution or not, its just something we have the right to know about, and aside from social ideas of taboo, no one is stopping us! I'm far from a nudist, but in the privacy of our on home, we should never feel ashamed, especially of our own bodies. I'm thinking of writing to Mooncup, because I think this little thing is BIG! :)

I encourage women to try it out. It's great for many reasons, other than feminism! It's cheap, comfortable, and eco-friendly. Some people say it even makes their cycles shorter. Give it a try! :)

A Short Note on Time

I notice I don't usually have much of it, but I did notice that my blog says its 4:59 AM when it's really 7:59! I'm not that much of a hustler!

Anyone know how to fix it by the way?

Cloth Diapering Hell

So I started cloth diapering part time in the beginning of the month. I really want to like it, I do. But I HATE it!! :( This morning is a great example of WHY. Last night, I thought I should put them both in cloth diapers. I want to use them as much as possible, and I find that I'm actually either away from the house a lot or the covers are not clean, so they end up in disposables. So I went with it. I had done it before, but this weekend we were WAY too exhausted. I woke up to screams at about 7:30, which to us is far too early than what we'd like. Zalah has been in our room so that Lyla can learn to sleep through the night. But Zalah has been waking up around 3am and not going back to bed with us, even when we try. Last night she did just that, after we went to bed at 2am! I wouldn't even mind getting up at 7, which I have to do for days I have class anyway, but I try to get to bed at 12 or so. Also, its harder when I'm awake at night, and I think so far they've both slept through the night together only once or twice. :P So at 7:30, it was Lyla's screams that woke me. She had a 'light' poop stuck onto the diaper so while half asleep I changed her. I went to try to clean it off with a plastic knife that I keep for the purpose and then rub it off under running water in either the sink or bucket. I also used to clean the toilet and sink with cleaner after each time because of the fact that it gets where people, especially the kids, can touch. I can't do that anymore. I then added it to my pail with ample baking soda (I think I went through a box in a week or so...it doesn't really help). Zalah was up soon after, full of pee. Chaim has been complaining it reeks like a urinal, and he's not really wrong. So now I rinse those, over and over, as the water turns a little less yellow. My hands reek from doing this. My hands are in water so much of the time anyway, which of course hurts in the New York winter air. I constantly get sprayed with water that is full of excrement. The poop smell never seems to leave me. This morning could have been even worse with double poop duty. Before I used to fold the diapers in a way that the poop got on all the edges and scraping it was a battle. Now its a little better, but I'm always dumping the water with poop bits in it, to get them clean enough to sit in a bucket for a few days before I can get to the laundry. And since I don't use that many, I don't want to do a load that's barely full. This morning was so bad for us, we forced them to go to bed early and we slept on and off until one. :\ After having little sleep all weekend, and basically we don't get much to begin with, we really couldn't take it.

Here comes the second problem: The covers. If they go to the bathroom in them, pee or poop, even without leaks, they REEK! I tried to hand wash them and air dry them, with detergent and baking soda, and they STILL smell. I don't even think they are so fresh after the washer has a go at them. Because I only have two covers, they don't last so long without smelling so once that happens and I wash them, I have to use the disposables again. And there are times I've tried to hand wash all of it, only to put it in the washer anyway because it just doesn't come clean. Today I finally did my load of maybe 12 of them, the covers, the one FuzziBunz I have and some socks for filler. I did it TWICE and still found poop bits afterwards. The second time I used bleach, because I really needed it. The stains have never come out before. After the bleach load, they looked cleaner, except for the one Lyla made this AM. Better than nothing. The covers still smell a little, but its not so bad. (I didn't bleach those.) The kids also HATE being put into the cloth diapers. I asked Zalah if it hurts her and she says no, so maybe it is just the folding and pulling or maybe its how they feel different to them. I don't know. Lyla is in the age where she can NOT sit still for any diaper, which is super annoying.

Despite all this, I keep trying, though every time I hit a "poop" bump in the road it becomes so overwhelming. (They both just pooped, and I'm so GLAD they're in disposables!!) I know it might help if I had more access to a washer, or a sprayer or liners or more covers or all of those things. But that all costs money and I'm not sure if its worth the investment so far into it. Also, I wanted to do this when Zalah was first born, and maybe it would have been easier to start when she had those little mustard squirts for poops. Now I have two "big girls" who have BIG poops, and lately none are the kind that come off easily. This is gross, but they are sticky, tarry and wet. It is a constant battle.

I have to say, the FuzziBunz is THE BEST. I wish I could have a whole supply of them, even from day one. They are SO easy, I haven't had a leak (with the prefolds either really, which is great!). Fuzzibunz are smaller and I think that keeps them easier to clean. It seems like the material is also easier to rub the poop out of. Also they seem to be easier to put on, the bulkiness factor is less and they feel nicer.

I still think cloth diapering is great for the money factor, but all the time I spend cleaning them and how gross I feel afterward really subtracts from that. The kids have less of a rash in them, which is important, but they hate how they feel. They are better for the environment and don't really leak, so in a way they are functional, but depending on the type they can be quite difficult. I wish it was easier!!!! Someone send me a doody nanny!!!

The Green List

Many people differ on their opinions of "climate change", what creates it, or if its even happening. Despite this, we can all agree that cutting back or changing some of the things we do can actually save money, and have other benefits as well. And some are even easier than what we are used to. So in a nonpartisan way, I bring you The Green List: things my family does to save a little green that also, at the very least, doesn't hurt the Big Green and at best, is good for her. Hopefully, this list will grow, but for now I just like to see visually where we stand.

-We don't have a dishwasher. We wash most of our dishes in a small bucket that we fill only a little with soapy water, wash the dishes, and fill with rinse water and then dunk them.

-We use reusable bags at the store. I still have so many plastic ones that even with bathroom and diaper garbage pails along with cat litter, I still have too many!

-We recycle.

-We guerrilla recycle!!

-We shut off lights.

-Compact fluorescents baby.

-We don't use a ton of heat or AC, or at least we try. If you need a sweater in your house in the summer or wear tanks in the winter, maybe you should consider using less heat or AC!

-We turn down the heat or AC when we leave.

-We don't have a microwave, and I hate them.

-We have a TV, unfortunately, but we hardly watch it and I try to leave it unplugged. We use it the most to watch movies from our computer that we connect with a cable.

-I try to cloth diaper while at home, a sort of part time affair. To me, this is difficult, but I try.

-We line dry most of our dark clothes to prevent fading.

-We wash dark clothes in cool water, and if we do warm for light clothes, the rinse is cool.

-We don't use dryer sheets, fabric softener, and I try to use even less detergent than it suggests.

-We wear most of our clothes more than once before washing, if we can. And we use towels etc more than once too!

-We fix our clothes when they rip and give them away when we don't need or want them anymore, so they can be reused. Many of our baby clothes are hand me downs too!

-We don't use disposable dishes, EVER!

-We have one car, a "Low emitions vehicle". It gets an average of 30mpg.

-Chaim car pools or takes the bus to class.

-I don't eat meat, only fish.

-Chaim doesn't eat too much meat either, though not a vegetarian.

-We refill water bottles and we don't really buy them unless we're thirsty and have to buy a drink.


-We use old glass containers for grains and beans and things (Rubbermaids work too, but we need those for the fridge sometimes!) The reason this is good, other than re-using and buying less containers, is because our grains and beans were getting a lot of bugs in them, so this stops that! :)

-We rinse and reuse Ziploc bags.

-We have a gas stove. (I'm not sure how 'good' this is, but I prefer it. I can still cook in a black out, if I have a match.)

-We don't drink milk treated with hormones, though we don't get "organic" for the price factor.

-We don't let the car idle.

-We don't leave the water running when we brush our teeth.

-We let that yellow mellow. A few ounces of urine is not worth 1.6 gallons of water to me.

-I cut down on toilet paper (for #1 only!) by using my Peri bottle to rinse and then towel dry. I actually feel cleaner as well!

-Bye bye tampons! I now have a Mooncup!

-I hardly use paper towels.

-I switched to rags instead of sponges for the counter.

-We hardly use harsh cleaning products. Maybe once a month on average. Usually we wipe messes with water only or with soap. I use vinegar and baking soda when necessary and just got a few bottles of Seventh Generation cleaner and dish soap. The house still stays clean enough though, with just the right amount of germs for us to hardly get sick.

-I take longer showers than I could, but I also don't wash my hair more than once or twice a week.

-I don't blow-dry my hair, and I hardly use any products in it.

-We're broke, so we can't buy as much useless junk! LOL!

-Chaim plants trees. :)

-We try to stick to organic bananas.

-Sometimes Chaim uses me as a tissue. :)

The MOM Workout

I said a ways back that I wanted to post about my workout routine post-baby. While I did a decent amount of running and sit ups and the like, that time has loooong since gone! I would love to exercise more often, since I think it feels great and is good for you, mind and body, but I can't really find the time. However, people always ask me how I stay "in shape". Although I think I could always improve by, Oh I don't know, ACTUALLY working out, I guess some things help out even when you don't have a lot of time. So below I will outline "The MOM Workout" which is great to fit into any busy mom schedule, and things you probably do already! As with most things I write, its meant to be mostly humorous! :)

1. Awaken to the sound of screaming, rush to change and feed the kids and do all that good morning stuff. This is great for a speed drill, especially if you have somewhere to be, as well as a 'Warm Up'.

2. A great way to start is by stretching out in the morning. One of my favorites is to reach over the child gate to get the cat's water and food to refill. I usually stand on one leg so I can reach farther, so this is also good for balance. If you want to step it up a notch, do it while holding a baby. Be careful though, because without balance you will fall!



3. Kids want to play the instant they wake up. Here are some of my favorite moves for you and them:



Place child on lower legs and either lift up and down at the knee, to create a burn in the thigh (demonstrated above) or extend your knees out and then in (see picture below). With the knee extend, you can exhale in their face because they think its funny. And this version is great for the abs! Small babies tend to not hang on and roll off, so you might want to secure them with a belt.



4. Then when it comes time to dressing everyone, changing babies can be a great workout! Not only do they fuss like crazy which breaks a sweat, but while changing #2 or yourself, inevitably #1 will get into things like sharp objects, toilet water, or just general mess making. This tests your reflexes. While trying to avert this situation half dressed, people might walk in and further your reflex skills.

-No picture necessary here-

5. About one PM, try to squeeze in some light breakfast like the toast you forgot in the toaster five hours ago, or a much awaited glass of water. If the kids are awake, try to fit this in between the folding-laundry-while-brushing-your-teeth routine and the have-to-jet-off-the-pot-while-your-pants-are-still-down-to-avoid-child-inflicting-injury-on-themselves acrobatics. This is great for the too-busy-to-eat-diet. Though I must warn you, midnight chocolate cravings will occur frequently!! See step number two to remedy this problem the next morning.

6. Poop is a great workout. Cleaning cloth diapers takes a lot of muscle strength and balance (see below). Other than "the self agitator" in a bucket for overall arm toning, this is one of my favorite moves I created while drying a diaper cover with a towel; The Diaper Lotus:



Patience grasshopper! This one is for more advanced poop touchers.

Laundry can help your arm and shoulder muscles, especially if you have to be a renegade and steal the system after piles of laundry add up and you can take it no longer. One of my favorites is The Lift and Haul, the heavier the better!



7. Another frequent exercise that you might find yourself doing is the Lunge and Lift. This happens periodically throughout the day when you have to grab the children out of the way of the vacuum or from previously mentioned perils they find themselves in. It works by sprinting and stopping short reminiscent of High School basketball drills, and then lunging forward and lifting the child. The reason it works so well is because of the repetition. They never want to be put down, so in your haste you will find yourself doing it quite often.

8. At about 6 PM it might feel like midnight, but the fun is only beginning! Now its time for the Mad Dash Relay: The kids are grumpy, need changes complete with diaper cleaning while cooking dinner and making a salad (don't forget the dishes! :D). The older one takes the lead and dives on the cat! The little one gets stepped on from behind! The garbage is full, you're out of garlic and the salt needs to be refilled. Your hair falls in your face but your hands are covered in sauce that is stinging them and your contacts are dry from the steam. GO!

9. Right as the relay ends and your husband comes home and tells you he already ate and is leaving again to escape the madness, you notice your child is rubbing snot all over her face and could use a bath. Time for Double Bath Duty complete with lotion, ear cleanings and nail clippings! (All 40 of them! Great for efficiency.) This is also a good time to practice your greased hog catching as the ones who can run tend to jump out of the tub while covered in suds and do so.

10. Now its time for quiet (aka more cleaning) that I like to call 'Cool Down'. You can try to read a leisurely book or study for classes. (HA!) Don't forget to make lunches for the next day, finish the dishes and deal with stragglers. Try to remember to shower once a week and soon you'll be lookin' hot!

Insanity!?

So because I recently decided to become more insane, I've decided to cloth diaper, at least part-time. I'll keep you posted on how it goes, or maybe I won't, since the kids don't even let me go to the bathroom without screaming bloody murder and bothering me. :D

The Tzniyus Book

My friend Jack recently published his long awaited Tzniyus Book and I read it in a few days while over his house. I said I would write an unofficial review for it. Simply put, I like it! :) But really, I like how he explains what it is; modesty in action, speech and dress. Basically, everything I'm not! He writes it for younger girls who are interested in being religious, so if it feels like he is taking to that crowd with nerdy Jewish words (or stricter than you would like to be or are personally) he is. Still though, he doesn't say "DO THIS OR ELSE" like some books in this genre might tend to be. (Or they are written sweetly, but forewarn of certain doom if you digress.)

But what I really like is how he has elements of feminism. Not to be politically correct, not to make excuses, but because he really believes that, and I hope he isn't alone in that view. Many people believe elements of Judaism are sexist, and I'm one of them. Aside from the fact that I like to pick metaphorical fights as well, if I see something that bothers my feminist sensitivities, I will say something. Overall, his explanations are GOOD, and even if women don't want to dress according to any codes (which I think is fine too, especially those who do not attempt to ascribe to these sets of rules) it's just plain awesome that the reasons some women do so aren't based (or now believed) to be from oppressive sources.

My favorite chapter was actually "In the Shul: SheLo Asani Isha and Mechitza". These are some of the most misunderstood ideas in Judaism, and Jack explains them in the way that I found to be productive and believable when I first learned about them. Surely if I accepted the popular belief I would have never chosen to associate with it. Of course some scholars will still debate and not agree with these meanings, but I think it's a point for him to publish these ideas that he stands behind and are not incompatible with Judaism. Therefore, more people will be aware of this almost-liberal thinking that is still within their orthodox mind frame. Neat!

One of my favorite parts was in the previously mentioned chapter about why men daily thank God they are not a woman (I don't disagree even from the offset, I KNOW its difficult!). Even so, it can be seen as there is a problem with being born a female, and history has seemed to take that version of the story. That I don't agree with. But along with the explanation that men are required to do more, and women are internally spiritual (therefore men thank God for the opportunity) he adds that women just thank God for being 'created according to Hashem's will', which is actually better than it sounds. Why can't men just say the same? Well they can't. They have to be 'fixed' with circumcision and women are good to go as they are. (BOOOYAH!) I think it's almost like the MEN are the ones with the consolation prize of saying "thank God I'm not a woman", because really they have more responsibility, and its almost like that's just a nice way of saying it! Not to mention that many believe the world was created in ascending order, with women being the last.

Another beautiful quote was "It's natural for men and women to be attracted to one another. Regarding the creation of man, the Torah tells us that "male and female He created them" (Bereishis 1:27). The Midrash explains that man was originally one being comprising both genders. When God separated woman from man, they became two beings. It is quite natural for each gender, therefore, to seek its "missing piece."
Aside that this creates issues for me because I am a believer and supporter of homosexual rights, it is still a beautiful passage, and from a feminist standpoint, the idea of being united at one time and therefore equal is a wonderful one.

Throughout the book the message empowers women. It isn't a book telling them to cover up or else. It doesn't promote the idea that sexuality is bad or shameful, which is huge in my eyes. The book is intended for young girls (or boys) trying to better their spiritual selves as I mentioned. I think they can easily be caught up in the fervor of self denial as the 'right way' if they aren't careful. I like that it expresses some freedoms for people and puts these notions in a balance. Similarly, these ideas can still work for some people to the right who might not be used to these interpretations, without shaking their foundations or being heretical like some of us are from time to time...

Commune livin'!

Since the last post, my sister had some trouble with her rented room in someone else's apartment, and needed a place to stay. About the same time that I said she could stay on our futon (finally a new couch! Couldn't have come at a better time either!) we had friends who also needed a place. They would crash 'randomly' on the futon, but I realized it was becoming more of a problem for them when prospective apartments didn't work out. So I kept telling them to stay with us, too. Then my sis could stay in our extra bed in our on days they stayed over. Well that became every night and our family of four became a family seven (plus an extra cat!) I have yet to take a picture of all of us that everyone approves of being released... but yes, seven people to two rooms. Other than Princess Z of course, who has her own room at night. Lyla stays in our room still, but as I've noticed over the past few days, she does NOT like to sleep. I used to put Zalah out in the living room at night to get her used to sleeping alone. I can't do that now as there are people there, so we usually put her to bed in our room before we go to bed ourselves. Sometimes we forget, and she sleeps ok with us. But lately its been a massive undertaking to get her to sleep at night, with her persistent Capricorn self screaming for hours at a time! Unless I'm right there next to her of course. That being its own difficulty, I rather like living with a lot of people. We all have different schedules so its not usually too crowded, though we do still often have company. I like that I have help from EVERYBODY and no longer have to pick up my sister from the train or be the only one to drop of Chaim. He also gets a ride some days with our roommates to school. They all help with food, dishes and cleaning, and I actually had time to clean the bathroom (while giving my kids a bath at the same time, nonetheless...) but its something I wouldn't normally have too much time for. I kept the place pretty clean on my own, but with two babies and all their work plus house and school there was a bit of dust here and there. I do feel badly when we stay up late in the living room and the mates are tired, or when we go to bed late and my sis is already trying to sleep in there. Many people can't tolerate that kind of living, and it is difficult at times. But I think the women like each others company (at least I need it!) and we all get along fairly well. We haven't fought too much, at least not with each other. I like the idea of communal living, and I like that it's working out for me. We take care of each other, and because we have shared responsibility, it isn't a crisis if someone else leaves something that needs to be cleaned because we all clean up after each other. We don't keep tabs because we see it as fair since we all share work evenly. It isn't regimented and strict, actually the way I see real communal living is laid back and just having the respect to help each other out. I think its when you give everyone too specific of a chore that it becomes "YOU didn't do YOUR job". While my husband usually took out the garbage (or at least I tried to get him to) we've all done it in turn, and try to not complain too much that we did his job. The only time that happened a lot was when I was alone with him and felt like I was doing 99% of the domestic work, even when he no longer had a job. While I still think I do much of the work, I get help from people who really mean to help. We don't give them a deadline to leave or make them pay for things, and I try not to ask too much from them and not do anything myself. Maybe because it is relaxed, they volunteer their help more readily. This helps relieve some of my stresses and we all get time to study (sort of).

Sisters, sisters

So I haven't written in a while, here I am again. I knew that would happen, not like having two babies causes any sort of dizziness and disappearance of time...there I am again. But now I am back to school. Away I go again! Wonderful Kean University in Union NJ, only an hour away and a 6am wake up. How refreshing! But I do have to say, my older sister comes by train to babysit when I have classes, and I really appreciate that. It makes me think of how important siblings are and how I wish my mom had about 20 others just to help me out. :) But Zalah has Lyla and Lyla has Zalah. I keep thinking about how miserable I was to find out I was pregnant again (and to BE pregnant again!). Maybe it just looks better from the outside, but I keep thinking that *if* I ever got pregnant again, I would try to like it. (I'm even thinking of the possibility of natural birth again!! HELLO INSANITY! :D) I do love the little ones, little Lyla especially makes me want to eventually possibly have one more. (Because I know she will have to grow up! :( I can't even accept that yet.) But even if I don't have any more, I just feel blessed that they are so close (now that its OVER WITH!) and they have each other. They get along so well, I know they truly love each other and that it was meant to be this way. <3>my own sanity!

In the meantime, I am obsessed with being a belly dancer! Who knew those moves were so hard!!

Three Cups of Tea

I just finished reading this book about Greg Mortenson's humanitarian efforts in Pakistan and Afghanistan to build schools for children, written by David Oliver Relin. I urge every single person to read this book. I believe it is pretty popular, but if you haven't already, please give it a read. Tell everyone you know about it. I've always had a soft spot in my heart for Afghanistan, and if anyone knows any Pakistanis, you know they are the nicest people on Earth. At least I think so. I'm so inspired by this book, that I want to do something to help. I've been working on tee-shirt designs for a while now, and when I finally launch my site, I hope to donate all the proceeds to his charity, the Central Asia Institute. (We'll see if I ever sell any.) I know my small blog isn't a lot to get the message out that many already know of, but I can't not say anything. Just as I finished reading the book, while sitting in the car in the parking lot of Home Depot, an elderly man came to his car parked next to ours. We exchanged "How are you"'s, and he said "I hope the book is good!" I said "It is! Three Cups of Tea!" He said "What? O yea, I read that one." I was so excited about our little exchange. "It's SOOO good!" I gushed. "Yea, I enjoyed it! Take care." He said. I loved just blurting out how I feel to a random stranger and getting a good response out of it. I really think this is an important book and we should all share these feelings of inspiration with each other.

I have two kids!?

I'm usually so busy with two kids that I don't have time to think about it, much less write about it. But then sometimes I stop and I reflect on it, and I say "I have two kids!?" It seems like I've had an infant forever. But that infant is also growing up, and I see that every day. Then at the same time, I see my baby, and I wonder "I have a baby? Where did that come from!? I don't feel like I just had a baby." I'm confused. But really, I love to marvel at Lyla, I don't feel like I should have a baby this small, yet I do. It's cliched, but it is precious, and I love it. Actually, I must say at least a thousand times a day how I don't want her to grow up. Zalah can be the one we watch grow, and Lyla can stay a baby forever! Yea right, but I wish she could!And I also love to see Zalah do amazing things as she grows at the same time. It is pretty disorienting, but I try to appreciate how awesome it is to still get to have a precious little one when most parents are still rocking one at this stage. Its not a contest or anything, but this is usually the time when parents want a sibling for their child/ren or just miss the infancy that ends as the child grows into their own individual person.


On a similar note, Zalah pooped in the potty and it was the most exciting thing ever.

Love the Leash

I've been away in California visiting my super awesome grandmother for the past two weeks. (Ok, I've been home for a while, things are busy, you know!?) No matter where you go on vacation, if you have the kids, it's still tough. Sometimes even more so than at home where you have everything you need and don't have to worry about baby-proofing. Well, to help ease this situation, we chanced upon something that I thought about possibly buying before while at a store one day. I'll tell you what it is in a minute. It couldn't have come at a better time. I think because of the loss of control we have while so far away and the child's strong desire to explore and leave you in their dust, we felt really overwhelmed. So we went for it; we bought a baby leash. I know many people are really against them, but you know what? I love it. Zalah loves it. We all think its a great thing. She has the freedom to explore a little but not be far from us. Now, I know what you are thinking, why not just hold her hand? Well she really hates that. And just walking a few feet behind her is not predictable enough, she could always run off too fast or get into something. And it is easier to forget about her that way or get distracted. Maybe the idea is also so the parent is more aware and not just for the child.
We tried it out for the first time at the beach. In California, the beach is often very small, and there is hardly any sand at all in high tide. We parked on the street and went down cement steps to get to the beach at a part that was pretty rocky and closer to the water to start out with then over to the left or right. Well a large wave came and scared Zalah and knocked her on her butt and side. It wasn't very high where we were standing, maybe about her waist sitting down, but because she fell in, I was able to pull up on the strong harness that clips across the chest in two places to help lift her up before I could get my arm around her. I thought right away how great this thing is. She loves feeling independent with her monkey friend on her back, and I know she is safe and in my watch.We also brought it to the San Diego zoo, so if she got tired of the stroller (which she always does) we could take her out and let her have a little more room to get to know the animals. She loved that. In fact, she loves animals so much, that she grabbed on the bars and wouldn't let go! Even when I tried to take her off to take her into the petting zoo!
I think its a great invention. I know many parents and people disagree on using it, but if I see a fellow parent with one, I'll understand. I know it's hard to even use it because you always wonder what people think, but we think it works, so we just don't focus on that. And maybe for all the doubters, this will give you the other opinion!

Nursing Bras

Alright ladies, we're huffing pregnant women for months, and then have that lovely bowl of jelly as a belly for a few months after, and I don't know about you, but I feel ready for some sexy. Enter nursing bra. And it is SO not it. I actually tried on nursing bras while I was still pregnant at my favorite place, the Dain Shope. It is a specialty shop that caters to us Lusty Busties as well as everyone else.

And yet, sadly, even here the nursing bras were mostly matronly and boring. Not like I had ANY luck at all in any other place. They did have a huge selection though, so I left with two Elle Macpherson Maternelles. These models were obviously not pregnant.

Since I was pregnant, I bought these in a larger band size, and it was comfortable since it had six sets of hooks. Yes, SIX! It is wireless, which is great for a pregnant belly, and it doesn't show under shirts. Many people thought it was pretty sexy for a nursing bra, which I wouldn't go so far as to say sexy, but it was a lot nicer than many out there. I wore it after giving birth the first time too, and its stretchy wireless cups gave a lot of room for size changes. It was lower cut when I was engorged, but it still fit well. Maybe it was a little sexy then. ;) Unfortunately, the band size is far bigger than I am normally, and once I started losing weight again, it grew larger and larger on me. Now I have to say, it is far too big. Many of my complaints are based on this alone, and not the actual bra, so I want to be sure to make a note of that. I don't like that it seemed so high up that it showed over the top of some tanks. But this could be because of the bra being the wrong size. The cups now also overtake my whole breast, leaving extra material, again because of it being too large.

Well, I decided I wanted a new, sexier (if I could find it) nursing bra. I found it. Again, Elle Macpherson knows her shit. I found the La Mere Bra in Tea.
I don't want to take this bra off. I actually feel sexy and normal again, and it fits well. It has six sets of hooks as well, (though I'm on the smallest one and have no where to go...) and even though it is lacy, it is so comfortable. I have a few issues with it that I think could be worked on. Firstly, the adjusters in the back are the short kind, so if you need more lift, you have a limit. It usually is ok for me, but I worry about it stretching and not being able to tighten it past that limit. Secondly, like all nursing bra's I've tried, the clips are sort of high up, so sometimes you really have to dig up your shirt to get it off. But it does come off and go on with one hand, which is great. It is lower cut, which is a plus, but the lace does show through some shirts. More so when you are engorged and it gives you a sort of quadruple boob syndrome. It also is wireless, something I NEVER thought I'd like in a bra, but I feel lifted and supported. Even with these issues, I think its a great, sexy bra, and so is the Materelle as long as they fit right! I highly recommend going to get fitted for bras, as these women know what they are doing. Don't assume your size or buy bras that don't fit! It can cause saggy boobs or a painful back. Or just plain look wrong. And if you live near Morristown NJ, check out the Dain Shope, they have all kinds of things to make you feel like a lady again!

Carlos & Gabby's!

I have to start by saying, yesterday was amazing. Chaim was a sweetheart and bought me a day at the spa, which was so wonderful. He is the best! After that I was supposed to meet a friend in Brooklyn, so we decided to try out Carlos and Gabby's afterward. We had tried their nachos before because they have a location by our friend Jack's house, but wanted to try more.

I'm not writing a review, but I thought the food was great. They gave a lot for the price, which for kosher food was pennies. (O yea! Its kosher!) What I did want to write about is the experience with the other random diners that night.

When we got there, Zalah was already pretty grumpy and over tired. I immediately stole bells and maracas off the counter and then asked if I could give it to her to play with. I was dressed a tab bit old school for me, including knee high combat boots with skulls on the toe. I had to do a quick transformation earlier, but what a difference a skirt makes! I wondered if people would think I was just a rebellious kid, but I didn't focus on it too much. Besides, I'm not trying to be rebellious, I am rebellious! And the clothing just happened to be situational, I don't do it everyday anymore. Zalah got anxious and wanted to walk around a few times, and being herself, she just went right up to random people at their tables and would babble and wave. So many people were nice to her, talking back and saying how cute she was. She climbed the stairs and got angry when I took her back down to go home, and had a screaming fit including throwing her maraca across the room. I looked at the table next to me and apologized because I thought she might have hit them with it. The woman said "Its ok, I came out here to escape this kind of thing!" I laughed and said I feel bad that she didn't avoid it in the end, but she was cool about it. I strapped Zalah in and said "If you don't behave, we'll marry you off to gypsies when your 13!" I noticed the woman with a blonde shaitel and a Bugaboo stroller a few tables up started to laugh. As we were passing her table, I tried to maneuver our double stroller through her stroller and the nearest tables. She tried to move it for us, but there wasn't room so just moved the tables. Since I try to be nice, and we were already so well acquainted with the whole dining room, I asked if she had a girl or a boy and the age. She said it was a boy who was three months old. He was adorable, laying down sleeping in the stroller. (Now I see why they are so desirable! No need to pack a crib! Though you could probably buy a much cheaper knock off.) I told her the girls ages, and then she gushed "You guys are like, angels! You're so chilled out, you don't get mad." I was totally taken aback! I didn't even think about how people were watching our reaction to the kids behavior, let alone how she could think that with Miss Goth Queen of the Universe as their mother! I felt like that was very nonjudgmental of her to see past the image to what was really happening. But of course I had to snap back to reality, so I replied "Oooo no.... we get mad!" "I know! Sometimes you just want to scream!" She said. "Yea, there are days when I just have to put them down somewhere and go outside to really scream or something." I reassured her. I wish I had some snazzy blog cards like Sarah to hand out at that moment! But I didn't, and maybe my blog would have scared her, so we said good luck and good bye. And you know, I really felt good after we left. That's such a great compliment for us. Even though we know its not always true, it feels good to know that maybe sometimes, we can handle it. We weren't trying to impress anyone there, we just wanted to keep the kids happy for themselves and everyone, and we do that a lot with jokes and being silly. So many people criticize your parenting style or don't understand your sense of humor with them, so its such a great relief to find people who do. It was so sweet of her to admire us and say something about it. And kids are great for causing conversation among cool strangers!


Then I had a nightmare about hipsters who didn't give me any ice cream! >:(

A Few More Amazing Recipes (that all happen to have Zucchini!)

I always have a ton of zucchini and am looking for things to do with it. Well here are three more of my new favorites, which are all pretty easy to make and very delicious!

Marinated Zucchini
This first one is so simple, I want everyone to try it! All you have to do is wash and cut the zucchini in chunks, and then those in quarters or 6, depending on the size. You can cut the very thin ones in coins. Then put them in a Rubbermaid that's large enough, drizzle some olive oil, salt, pepper, crushed red pepper flakes and fresh crushed garlic. The amounts are not an exact science, its however you like it! I usually use 2 or 3 cloves of garlic for a medium to large zucchini. Now toss it in the fridge overnight. That's the secret. I've cooked it before right away until I discovered what a difference marinating it makes! (You can even wait two!) Then just bake it in the oven on about 350 for 10 minutes or so. Again, it depends on how you like it. We like it a bit firm still, but juicy.

Shelli's "Grilled Veggie Wrap"
Ok, this was not grilled. But it was good! I went to Shelli's Too Restaurant the other day and ordered this. It looked so easy to make I tried it at home. It was zucchini, carrots and onions softened in a red marinara sauce and then assembled on a wrap with slices of mozzarella. I tried it in a whole wheat pita with less cheese, but of course it was amazing with a lot!

Zucchini Corn and Black bean Quesadillas


O . M. G!

http://www.cooking.com/Recipes-and-More/recipes/Zucchini-Corn-Black-Bean-and-Jack-Cheese-Quesadillas-recipe-2088.aspx

I made some changes anyway, like I always do, but they were small. The only thing I strongly recommend is to use less cheese. I used maybe one 8oz bag of shredded cheese, and probably more veggies, and it was still enough. I also used s'chug instead of jalapenos because I had it.

And then a strange thing happened...

We know my little quirky, weird Zalah is a handful. She explores what she wants, and gets mad if you take her away. Even if she put herself in a dangerous situation and doesn't understand why we don't let her do what she wants to.


She's funny, she makes us laugh, and she's full of personality. Like most babies, her favorite word is "no!" even if no one said anything to her first! When it is in response, I often find myself saying "That's not a yes or no question." She runs off and dances around to any music, anytime. And I really did have to tell her not to eat the lube.


But amazingly, she's starting to listen. She doesn't always do what I say or want, but I've noticed that when I ask her nicely and slowly, she's starting to comply. For example, she got her ears pierced a few weeks ago, and hated when I had to clean them. About a week after it was done, I cleaned her ears with a q-tip, something she always let me do, and then asked her nicely if I could clean her earrings. She squirmed a little, but was much better than before. Then we started asking her to bring a toy she was holding to someone else, or "Go show daddy!", and she's doing it! We are really happy that the wild child takes some direction, and for a 16 month old, she's a pretty good listener! There are times I've wanted to sit on her to cut her nails, or force her to do something. But I know from her personality and mine, that it doesn't always work to force a child into something. It can be traumatizing, and doesn't give them way to learn to deal with it on their own as they grow. They get used to fighting back and don't realize that something, like cleaning a cut, might not be so bad. This is why we are so happy that she now listens (sometimes) and doesn't have to have a bad experience with some things. I can't get her to listen always, like that the doctors office won't hurt her (maybe because it's bullsh*t...) but it sure is a nice relief that she's starting!

Sometimes...

Almay

My husband and I have been writing to companies for some time now, to tell them what we like and don't like. Often, we get coupons, either way we feel about the products. Some of our friends also do this, and our friend Sarah posts her correspondences on her blog. She suggested I do the same. And you know, she's right.

I don't have my exact words I left on Almay's site. They only allowed about 255 characters, so it was basically this:

Product: Almay Daily Moisturizer for Dry skin with SPF 15
Comment: I put this moisturizer into a travel container and it became solidified on the edges. The screw top was heavily gunked on and I can't get it out. What causes this!? It's a little scary that this goes on my face!

They wrote me:

Dear Mrs. M.:

We are indeed sorry to learn of the experience you attribute to Almay Daily Moisturizer - Dry, but appreciate you taking the time to give us your comments.

Please click on the link provided below to accept a coupon to be used toward your purchase of Almay products.

Enclosure:
1 $5.00 E-coupon Almay

Thank you for your loyalty to our products. Please be assured of our desire to be of service whenever possible.

Please do not reply to this e-mail. Replies sent to this email address cannot be answered. If you have additional comments about this issue, please click here:

http://www.econsumeraffairs.com/almay/contactUsFollowUp.htm?F1=002141969A&F2=EM&

If you have comments on a separate issue, please return to our corporate website: http://www.almay.com

Sincerely,
Allison Mitchel

Senior Claims Representative

Alright. That's cool that I got a coupon. But you know what? They didn't answer my question. I thought maybe it could be the SPF, but I have plenty of sunblock and that doesn't happen. I don't really care too much that the container was ruined, because I had enough to use for vacation, but I do want to know what that is. Almay seemed to be such a good brand. Maybe not totally organic, but hypoallergenic and clean. But they sort of avoided the question. Maybe they don't know, but if that's the case, they should. I started to wonder if companies give coupons not just because a bad situation happened to the consumer, but to take their minds off of it and keep them happy. That seems shady. Most companies I've written to in the past were very helpful, even if I didn't like their product. But this answer is one I'm not entirely satisfied with.

I have a container of Dove Night Essentials Cream and I love it. It feels clean and really moisturizes well. I don't know if they still sell it, but I did see the day one in the store. This also has SPF.I would like to try it, since I like Dove products already. As for the Almay, I don't want to get rid of it, but I'm not so sure I want to use it anymore either.

FreeRice.com

If you haven't heard of this site yet, now is the time! This site is a vocabulary game that donates 10 grains of rice to hungry people in the world every time you get an answer right! I was at my mom's house the other day, and she was studying for the GRE. I noticed that many of the words were the kind I would see on free rice, so I suggested we play. I kept mangling the pronunciations of the words on the GRE cards, saying "I can't read good," D: "but I know my grammar, so I know that 'I can't read goodly.'" :D
Well, free rice even has a button to hear the words pronounced, which actually helps a lot. We had a lot of fun, and I found out that they now have new subjects! There is now grammar, basic math, chemistry symbols, world countries and capitols, famous paintings, and more. All of these donate to hunger. The site goes with your pace, and each subject has a variety of levels (except the periodic symbols). Usually, every three correct answers takes you to the next level in difficulty, and one wrong answer brings you back down one. I think its such a great idea, and as I exclaimed the other night, "This site is great for smartening!" :D

(Click above)

Check it out! It helps the player as well as the people it donates to.