My friend Jack recently published his long awaited Tzniyus Book and I read it in a few days while over his house. I said I would write an unofficial review for it. Simply put, I like it! :) But really, I like how he explains what it is; modesty in action, speech and dress. Basically, everything I'm not! He writes it for younger girls who are interested in being religious, so if it feels like he is taking to that crowd with nerdy Jewish words (or stricter than you would like to be or are personally) he is. Still though, he doesn't say "DO THIS OR ELSE" like some books in this genre might tend to be. (Or they are written sweetly, but forewarn of certain doom if you digress.)
But what I really like is how he has elements of feminism. Not to be politically correct, not to make excuses, but because he really believes that, and I hope he isn't alone in that view. Many people believe elements of Judaism are sexist, and I'm one of them. Aside from the fact that I like to pick metaphorical fights as well, if I see something that bothers my feminist sensitivities, I will say something. Overall, his explanations are GOOD, and even if women don't want to dress according to any codes (which I think is fine too, especially those who do not attempt to ascribe to these sets of rules) it's just plain awesome that the reasons some women do so aren't based (or now believed) to be from oppressive sources.
My favorite chapter was actually "In the Shul: SheLo Asani Isha and Mechitza". These are some of the most misunderstood ideas in Judaism, and Jack explains them in the way that I found to be productive and believable when I first learned about them. Surely if I accepted the popular belief I would have never chosen to associate with it. Of course some scholars will still debate and not agree with these meanings, but I think it's a point for him to publish these ideas that he stands behind and are not incompatible with Judaism. Therefore, more people will be aware of this almost-liberal thinking that is still within their orthodox mind frame. Neat!
One of my favorite parts was in the previously mentioned chapter about why men daily thank God they are not a woman (I don't disagree even from the offset, I KNOW its difficult!). Even so, it can be seen as there is a problem with being born a female, and history has seemed to take that version of the story. That I don't agree with. But along with the explanation that men are required to do more, and women are internally spiritual (therefore men thank God for the opportunity) he adds that women just thank God for being 'created according to Hashem's will', which is actually better than it sounds. Why can't men just say the same? Well they can't. They have to be 'fixed' with circumcision and women are good to go as they are. (BOOOYAH!) I think it's almost like the MEN are the ones with the consolation prize of saying "thank God I'm not a woman", because really they have more responsibility, and its almost like that's just a nice way of saying it! Not to mention that many believe the world was created in ascending order, with women being the last.
Another beautiful quote was "It's natural for men and women to be attracted to one another. Regarding the creation of man, the Torah tells us that "male and female He created them" (Bereishis 1:27). The Midrash explains that man was originally one being comprising both genders. When God separated woman from man, they became two beings. It is quite natural for each gender, therefore, to seek its "missing piece."
Aside that this creates issues for me because I am a believer and supporter of homosexual rights, it is still a beautiful passage, and from a feminist standpoint, the idea of being united at one time and therefore equal is a wonderful one.
Throughout the book the message empowers women. It isn't a book telling them to cover up or else. It doesn't promote the idea that sexuality is bad or shameful, which is huge in my eyes. The book is intended for young girls (or boys) trying to better their spiritual selves as I mentioned. I think they can easily be caught up in the fervor of self denial as the 'right way' if they aren't careful. I like that it expresses some freedoms for people and puts these notions in a balance. Similarly, these ideas can still work for some people to the right who might not be used to these interpretations, without shaking their foundations or being heretical like some of us are from time to time...
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In the Shul? Did it talk about, like, how women sit separately from men and stuff? I don't know much about Shul honestly. It's the same for us though, women not only are separate, we're usually behind the men which for some looks like we're "inferior" or lesser than men...but I think once they understand WHY then it actually shows how it empowers us and protects our modesty. Also its supposed to protect the men as well so they aren't distracted while praying, since they are naturally more sexual than we are. I feel bad but even being behind the men is sometimes a struggle for me cause I wanna look!
ReplyDeleteSo is the book like mainly directed at women, or just young people as well? Does Tzniyus apply to both sexes? Technically "hijab" means modesty so its for men and women but now it's kinda synonymous with the scarf which is TECHNICALLY a khimar :) But yeah, sometimes I get really irritated when I read books by MEN which talk about how women should act and dress...and these men are never focusing on how MEN should act. It's like they're all obsessed with making sure the women are being modest but not paying attention to how the men are acting.
Not saying that's what you did Jack - just making a general observation!
Wow! This is a great review, Cords. I wanna read the book now. I'm just going to harass Jack until he lets me read it. Or I'll buy it to support him!
ReplyDeleteAmanda, I think you should check it out! I don't think it just rests on the women, but since it is a womens issue about dressing this particular way, it discusses that. Though I totally know what you mean. But because Jack focuses mainly on 1) helping women who chose to do this understand it better and 2) focuses on how it empowers them by hiding what is special instead of showing it to the world where it can be exploited I think its pretty non sexist! lol. Though men DO have a hard time controlling THEMselves, and I was just going to comment on what you said. I actually DON'T think men are more naturally sexual, and that came up in one of Chaim and my debates (I think it turns us on...) We were talking about if women are more naturally caring but we brought in the sexuality too, and I think we are BOTH equally sexual but society has told men they are more so and they "can't control it" and that we can. We seem like experts at controlling ourselves, but I KNOW that doesn't mean we aren't sexual and I don't think that men are incapable of controlling it either. We both have organs for reproduction and its MEANT to feel good for both, so why would men only be sexual if we need to be equally sexual to get pregnant (cuz us moms know that if it didn't feel good, we would NOT want to do it again! lol) Of course, we would have to (on a grand scheme), because we need to replenish the species. But if we are created to enjoy it on BOTH ends, why are men the more sexual ones? Besides womens orgasms are supposedly more intense etc etc. Also you said you are tempted as well. (I think that is a little of our bad selves shining through while everyone else is being good, at least I have that too!) So really I believe a lot is on society. I do think women are naturally better in a lot of ways, so maybe we do have more of an element of control and sprituality and understanding, but I think its a lot less than people say, because they are trying to use that as an excuse. In that case, if the man is SO unable to control themselves and the women is SO responsible for everything I think it is just the men exploiting the idea that we are trained to be (and maybe a little naturally) better and they don't try at all. LAME!
ReplyDeleteFader, I have a copy you can borrow! ;)
ReplyDeleteoh it sounds a lot like us! I'm telling you-I'm glad you reviewed it. Makes me want to go out and buy it so I can read it to.
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