Trying to Learn Hebrew

My newest feat (besides knitting and reading) has been trying to learn some Hebrew. I'm pretty serious about it and I think of it often, but I feel like it's so daunting. I wonder if I'll ever be able to express myself in another language as well as I do in English. . . Scratch that, as well as I want to in English. Maybe wanting to use more specific words will force me to learn more of them. I sure hope so.

On another note, I miss many of the things that we stopped doing when we moved here like composting. I want to try and pick that up again. I feel like cloth diapering is totally out, which is sad because if I had a washer and drier, I probably would have never stopped. I also hope Z potty trains soon so that diapers IN GENERAL are in the end of their phase.

Additionally, I am happy to report that Z has been better (or maybe I've been more patient). I feel like she's whining less (or again, like I'm dealing with it better). I feel like she really gets upset the most when there is something she feels she has to do and for some reason she can't. Either frustration or a parent telling her to stop what she's doing for various reasons (for example, if she wants something, but we think she's going to hurt herself the way she's going about getting it). She's been really helpful and sweet and even eating better. She still does her stubborn thing or doesn't want to listen, just like every kid, but she's pretty awesome. Lyla is definitely entering her "2's", but she's still pretty rockin' as well. I love how much they love each other. I really feel like we have such a cool little unit going on.

That reminds me. Some times people think I want, or will want, more kids. I suppose the idea could come to me, but I really don't think I'll seriously want more. Kids are cute, and I do like them, but there are so many reasons I don't want to even go there. For one, I can't afford it. I don't think it would be fair to the kids that ALREADY exist to make more that I don't, as of right now, have ANY obligation to. I have a hard enough time paying attention and caring for Z and L, and I stress SO much, more than anything, about providing for them. Making more, if I can help it, is not really part of the solution.

Secondly, they are so close in age and relationship that any new baby years later will be totally on it's own like an only child. That, and I'm really not interested in having another one so soon, even if I were financially able, and I'm SURELY not interested in having any after 30 (I'm physically destroyed enough as it is. Don't believe me? I pee myself). So there is the impossiblility of a time frame that just doesn't exist. I really love having them as my two little ones, and that they have each other. Sure, I said I wanted more before I had any, but as many new parents soon learn, you tend to change your mind about something once you actually learn what it's like!

And I suppose that's it for now.

The Tzniyus Book

My friend Jack recently published his long awaited Tzniyus Book and I read it in a few days while over his house. I said I would write an unofficial review for it. Simply put, I like it! :) But really, I like how he explains what it is; modesty in action, speech and dress. Basically, everything I'm not! He writes it for younger girls who are interested in being religious, so if it feels like he is taking to that crowd with nerdy Jewish words (or stricter than you would like to be or are personally) he is. Still though, he doesn't say "DO THIS OR ELSE" like some books in this genre might tend to be. (Or they are written sweetly, but forewarn of certain doom if you digress.)

But what I really like is how he has elements of feminism. Not to be politically correct, not to make excuses, but because he really believes that, and I hope he isn't alone in that view. Many people believe elements of Judaism are sexist, and I'm one of them. Aside from the fact that I like to pick metaphorical fights as well, if I see something that bothers my feminist sensitivities, I will say something. Overall, his explanations are GOOD, and even if women don't want to dress according to any codes (which I think is fine too, especially those who do not attempt to ascribe to these sets of rules) it's just plain awesome that the reasons some women do so aren't based (or now believed) to be from oppressive sources.

My favorite chapter was actually "In the Shul: SheLo Asani Isha and Mechitza". These are some of the most misunderstood ideas in Judaism, and Jack explains them in the way that I found to be productive and believable when I first learned about them. Surely if I accepted the popular belief I would have never chosen to associate with it. Of course some scholars will still debate and not agree with these meanings, but I think it's a point for him to publish these ideas that he stands behind and are not incompatible with Judaism. Therefore, more people will be aware of this almost-liberal thinking that is still within their orthodox mind frame. Neat!

One of my favorite parts was in the previously mentioned chapter about why men daily thank God they are not a woman (I don't disagree even from the offset, I KNOW its difficult!). Even so, it can be seen as there is a problem with being born a female, and history has seemed to take that version of the story. That I don't agree with. But along with the explanation that men are required to do more, and women are internally spiritual (therefore men thank God for the opportunity) he adds that women just thank God for being 'created according to Hashem's will', which is actually better than it sounds. Why can't men just say the same? Well they can't. They have to be 'fixed' with circumcision and women are good to go as they are. (BOOOYAH!) I think it's almost like the MEN are the ones with the consolation prize of saying "thank God I'm not a woman", because really they have more responsibility, and its almost like that's just a nice way of saying it! Not to mention that many believe the world was created in ascending order, with women being the last.

Another beautiful quote was "It's natural for men and women to be attracted to one another. Regarding the creation of man, the Torah tells us that "male and female He created them" (Bereishis 1:27). The Midrash explains that man was originally one being comprising both genders. When God separated woman from man, they became two beings. It is quite natural for each gender, therefore, to seek its "missing piece."
Aside that this creates issues for me because I am a believer and supporter of homosexual rights, it is still a beautiful passage, and from a feminist standpoint, the idea of being united at one time and therefore equal is a wonderful one.

Throughout the book the message empowers women. It isn't a book telling them to cover up or else. It doesn't promote the idea that sexuality is bad or shameful, which is huge in my eyes. The book is intended for young girls (or boys) trying to better their spiritual selves as I mentioned. I think they can easily be caught up in the fervor of self denial as the 'right way' if they aren't careful. I like that it expresses some freedoms for people and puts these notions in a balance. Similarly, these ideas can still work for some people to the right who might not be used to these interpretations, without shaking their foundations or being heretical like some of us are from time to time...

Carlos & Gabby's!

I have to start by saying, yesterday was amazing. Chaim was a sweetheart and bought me a day at the spa, which was so wonderful. He is the best! After that I was supposed to meet a friend in Brooklyn, so we decided to try out Carlos and Gabby's afterward. We had tried their nachos before because they have a location by our friend Jack's house, but wanted to try more.

I'm not writing a review, but I thought the food was great. They gave a lot for the price, which for kosher food was pennies. (O yea! Its kosher!) What I did want to write about is the experience with the other random diners that night.

When we got there, Zalah was already pretty grumpy and over tired. I immediately stole bells and maracas off the counter and then asked if I could give it to her to play with. I was dressed a tab bit old school for me, including knee high combat boots with skulls on the toe. I had to do a quick transformation earlier, but what a difference a skirt makes! I wondered if people would think I was just a rebellious kid, but I didn't focus on it too much. Besides, I'm not trying to be rebellious, I am rebellious! And the clothing just happened to be situational, I don't do it everyday anymore. Zalah got anxious and wanted to walk around a few times, and being herself, she just went right up to random people at their tables and would babble and wave. So many people were nice to her, talking back and saying how cute she was. She climbed the stairs and got angry when I took her back down to go home, and had a screaming fit including throwing her maraca across the room. I looked at the table next to me and apologized because I thought she might have hit them with it. The woman said "Its ok, I came out here to escape this kind of thing!" I laughed and said I feel bad that she didn't avoid it in the end, but she was cool about it. I strapped Zalah in and said "If you don't behave, we'll marry you off to gypsies when your 13!" I noticed the woman with a blonde shaitel and a Bugaboo stroller a few tables up started to laugh. As we were passing her table, I tried to maneuver our double stroller through her stroller and the nearest tables. She tried to move it for us, but there wasn't room so just moved the tables. Since I try to be nice, and we were already so well acquainted with the whole dining room, I asked if she had a girl or a boy and the age. She said it was a boy who was three months old. He was adorable, laying down sleeping in the stroller. (Now I see why they are so desirable! No need to pack a crib! Though you could probably buy a much cheaper knock off.) I told her the girls ages, and then she gushed "You guys are like, angels! You're so chilled out, you don't get mad." I was totally taken aback! I didn't even think about how people were watching our reaction to the kids behavior, let alone how she could think that with Miss Goth Queen of the Universe as their mother! I felt like that was very nonjudgmental of her to see past the image to what was really happening. But of course I had to snap back to reality, so I replied "Oooo no.... we get mad!" "I know! Sometimes you just want to scream!" She said. "Yea, there are days when I just have to put them down somewhere and go outside to really scream or something." I reassured her. I wish I had some snazzy blog cards like Sarah to hand out at that moment! But I didn't, and maybe my blog would have scared her, so we said good luck and good bye. And you know, I really felt good after we left. That's such a great compliment for us. Even though we know its not always true, it feels good to know that maybe sometimes, we can handle it. We weren't trying to impress anyone there, we just wanted to keep the kids happy for themselves and everyone, and we do that a lot with jokes and being silly. So many people criticize your parenting style or don't understand your sense of humor with them, so its such a great relief to find people who do. It was so sweet of her to admire us and say something about it. And kids are great for causing conversation among cool strangers!


Then I had a nightmare about hipsters who didn't give me any ice cream! >:(

In the Beginning...

Back when I thought being Jewish was cool.

My hubby just got fired today, and is out with daughter one so I thought I'd have a moment to start this thing out. Of course numero dos is screaming. We will have to discuss ways to save money and time later, which was a thought I had before, but oh how much more pertinent it is now!

Anyway, my good friend Sarah has her blog at oldschoolnewschoolmom.blogspot.com and has convinced and inspired me to start. Supposedly I am mildly amusing, not to mention I have a 'two babies' edge. (Lolz here) I tend to be in a constant duality with myself, and I am just as normal as I am insane. We tried to keep these things in mind while thinking of a name. Sarah wanted something to do with rebellion, which is very fitting. Meanwhile, I had joked to her a few weeks ago that 'if I started a blog I would call it "Two at a time" or "Demon Beasts from Hell". She decided on the name The Unorthodox Mom, as a bit of a pun since I technically AM "orthodox". What that means, however, is up to interpretation. Renegade Jews on the loose! In another way, it does somewhat explain my personality, since I don't usually follow the mainstream, but I'm not terribly against it either. Some things people do are stupid, and some things are ok. We'll talk about some of these ok things. (And maybe a little of the stupid things as well!)

Oy Vey! Can you believe this one had kids!?