Happy First Birthday, My Little Lyla Bean!

Today is also Lyla's first birthday, and she was born around this time of day too. (1:34pm?)


I am happy but also sad, because I don't plan on having any babies anytime soon, and I miss the baby age. When Zalah turned one, I already had another baby! So I didn't have that sense of missing that stage. I wrote about that whole mix of feelings before, here. All this time it's been very hard for me to accept that she is growing up and would be a baby no longer. :( Still, it happens and I have no control over it. On a similar note, weening is harder than I thought. With Zalah, she was cut off, so it was easy. And for me, I was still nursing so it wasn't like I felt I was missing something. But with Lyla I am hesitant. I do want her to stop, so its more for me than her. Really it's that I don't want to lose the ability to produce milk. It's a rare superpower that I have, and am pretty used to it. I think it will be traumatic to not be able to make milk on a regular basis (or at ALL!) even though nursing is annoying at times. I have been trying to get her to sleep though the night, but I've nursed her a couple of times as well. We'll see how that goes. Anyway, Happy Birthday to my adorable, little baby poof butt!!! I love you Lyla!!!

Here are some favorites from the past year <3 style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3Tia3zo1xb3Voh9zWq7Q_zu1KlQLjTWnwHkM3r_CVdkSngjWYzfyoELvkHyEENfPCAFnP2mnFbndiN0e04VBfyGJBmcIm9th25ggM9nuCRMkRprxoA3aextRJ_eGftsuAaQVV3kEO5pGw/s320/sleep.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5421471067516847522" border="0">