The MOM Workout

I said a ways back that I wanted to post about my workout routine post-baby. While I did a decent amount of running and sit ups and the like, that time has loooong since gone! I would love to exercise more often, since I think it feels great and is good for you, mind and body, but I can't really find the time. However, people always ask me how I stay "in shape". Although I think I could always improve by, Oh I don't know, ACTUALLY working out, I guess some things help out even when you don't have a lot of time. So below I will outline "The MOM Workout" which is great to fit into any busy mom schedule, and things you probably do already! As with most things I write, its meant to be mostly humorous! :)

1. Awaken to the sound of screaming, rush to change and feed the kids and do all that good morning stuff. This is great for a speed drill, especially if you have somewhere to be, as well as a 'Warm Up'.

2. A great way to start is by stretching out in the morning. One of my favorites is to reach over the child gate to get the cat's water and food to refill. I usually stand on one leg so I can reach farther, so this is also good for balance. If you want to step it up a notch, do it while holding a baby. Be careful though, because without balance you will fall!



3. Kids want to play the instant they wake up. Here are some of my favorite moves for you and them:



Place child on lower legs and either lift up and down at the knee, to create a burn in the thigh (demonstrated above) or extend your knees out and then in (see picture below). With the knee extend, you can exhale in their face because they think its funny. And this version is great for the abs! Small babies tend to not hang on and roll off, so you might want to secure them with a belt.



4. Then when it comes time to dressing everyone, changing babies can be a great workout! Not only do they fuss like crazy which breaks a sweat, but while changing #2 or yourself, inevitably #1 will get into things like sharp objects, toilet water, or just general mess making. This tests your reflexes. While trying to avert this situation half dressed, people might walk in and further your reflex skills.

-No picture necessary here-

5. About one PM, try to squeeze in some light breakfast like the toast you forgot in the toaster five hours ago, or a much awaited glass of water. If the kids are awake, try to fit this in between the folding-laundry-while-brushing-your-teeth routine and the have-to-jet-off-the-pot-while-your-pants-are-still-down-to-avoid-child-inflicting-injury-on-themselves acrobatics. This is great for the too-busy-to-eat-diet. Though I must warn you, midnight chocolate cravings will occur frequently!! See step number two to remedy this problem the next morning.

6. Poop is a great workout. Cleaning cloth diapers takes a lot of muscle strength and balance (see below). Other than "the self agitator" in a bucket for overall arm toning, this is one of my favorite moves I created while drying a diaper cover with a towel; The Diaper Lotus:



Patience grasshopper! This one is for more advanced poop touchers.

Laundry can help your arm and shoulder muscles, especially if you have to be a renegade and steal the system after piles of laundry add up and you can take it no longer. One of my favorites is The Lift and Haul, the heavier the better!



7. Another frequent exercise that you might find yourself doing is the Lunge and Lift. This happens periodically throughout the day when you have to grab the children out of the way of the vacuum or from previously mentioned perils they find themselves in. It works by sprinting and stopping short reminiscent of High School basketball drills, and then lunging forward and lifting the child. The reason it works so well is because of the repetition. They never want to be put down, so in your haste you will find yourself doing it quite often.

8. At about 6 PM it might feel like midnight, but the fun is only beginning! Now its time for the Mad Dash Relay: The kids are grumpy, need changes complete with diaper cleaning while cooking dinner and making a salad (don't forget the dishes! :D). The older one takes the lead and dives on the cat! The little one gets stepped on from behind! The garbage is full, you're out of garlic and the salt needs to be refilled. Your hair falls in your face but your hands are covered in sauce that is stinging them and your contacts are dry from the steam. GO!

9. Right as the relay ends and your husband comes home and tells you he already ate and is leaving again to escape the madness, you notice your child is rubbing snot all over her face and could use a bath. Time for Double Bath Duty complete with lotion, ear cleanings and nail clippings! (All 40 of them! Great for efficiency.) This is also a good time to practice your greased hog catching as the ones who can run tend to jump out of the tub while covered in suds and do so.

10. Now its time for quiet (aka more cleaning) that I like to call 'Cool Down'. You can try to read a leisurely book or study for classes. (HA!) Don't forget to make lunches for the next day, finish the dishes and deal with stragglers. Try to remember to shower once a week and soon you'll be lookin' hot!