Toys of Today (and Parenting Methods)

For the most part, I think a healthy mix can be a great idea. My philosophy is similar to that of my friend, Sarah Fader, that old school advice and new school attitudes can mesh pretty nicely. The problem is, the old school is hard to find.

Lyla just had a birthday party. Now I've been a mom for about two years, but Chaim and I noticed how there really are hardly any toys that don't beep blink and sing. I appreciate that my family wants to buy fun toys for the kids, but where have all the natural toys gone? We have a few books and stuffed animals that the kids love. They also have some blocks that range from excellent (stacking board blocks with numbers and animals that fit into each other) to sort of crappy (foam Lincoln blocks!? Maybe for the bath, but they don't stand up!). I worry because the more the kids see these toys, the more they want only that kind. That was demonstrated last night when we tried to put Zalah to bed and she flipped out because she wanted to play with Lyla's new toys. She is usually pretty well behaved, brilliant and sweet, and she turned into the terrible-two's modern day brat. I don't like to see that AT ALL! She even asks for TV now that she's seen a very little bit of it. Sometimes these toys or shows can be educational, which is great. Zalah has learned all of her letters from a few toys that repeat them, and I don't mind an occasional PBS kids program. But something is missing.

When I was a kid, my mom used to get us educational toys from a number of catalogs. I think one was MindWare and HearthSong. I miss these kinds of toys and I want my kids to be excited about learning and problem solving as well. I believe there needs to be some straight up fun in life too, even in addition to fun that is functional. But when it causes so many tantrums and a snowball effect of needing mind-numbing electronics, some balance needs to be restored.

As a sort of off shoot that is inspired by a few sources today; I know many people think that if you are in the least bit natural you are a snot and rigid. Well I happen to be neither. I know things won't always go my way, they'll have tantrums and other people will give them junk food. I don't flip out over these things and try to be pretty easy going. But I know my kids will be better behaved if they don't get spoiled with junk (physical and mental) 24-7. And I know that every one else around them wants that too! No one wants to hear kids screaming out in public because they don't get what they want. While this is bound to happen, some kids and parents are more prone to it than others. And besides from all of that, people should also relax a little and let others do what they want to do. I try to keep my criticism of other moms to a minimum. (For a well written discussion about this and a great blog in general, feel free to visit my wonderful friend Amanda's blog.) What works for one doesn't always work for another and its hard enough just to make kids into decent people to begin with, and it isn't always the parents fault. Sometimes kids are bad, sometime good plans backfire. With all that said, I want to have some control as a parent over what my children have in their lives, but to be strict on it means other people think you are too inflexible and kids feel stifled. Yet a parent is in control (or should be) and children don't always know what is best for themselves. They don't have an excess switch, and sadly, many adults don't either. Everything is a balance anyway, but it sure is hard to find one that works for everyone in the best way. (See this Sirens article for some more of my inspiration today.) This is why I urge people to do what they think is best, and please don't criticize other methods. We need a little more understanding and harmony in the world today.