Commune livin'!

Since the last post, my sister had some trouble with her rented room in someone else's apartment, and needed a place to stay. About the same time that I said she could stay on our futon (finally a new couch! Couldn't have come at a better time either!) we had friends who also needed a place. They would crash 'randomly' on the futon, but I realized it was becoming more of a problem for them when prospective apartments didn't work out. So I kept telling them to stay with us, too. Then my sis could stay in our extra bed in our on days they stayed over. Well that became every night and our family of four became a family seven (plus an extra cat!) I have yet to take a picture of all of us that everyone approves of being released... but yes, seven people to two rooms. Other than Princess Z of course, who has her own room at night. Lyla stays in our room still, but as I've noticed over the past few days, she does NOT like to sleep. I used to put Zalah out in the living room at night to get her used to sleeping alone. I can't do that now as there are people there, so we usually put her to bed in our room before we go to bed ourselves. Sometimes we forget, and she sleeps ok with us. But lately its been a massive undertaking to get her to sleep at night, with her persistent Capricorn self screaming for hours at a time! Unless I'm right there next to her of course. That being its own difficulty, I rather like living with a lot of people. We all have different schedules so its not usually too crowded, though we do still often have company. I like that I have help from EVERYBODY and no longer have to pick up my sister from the train or be the only one to drop of Chaim. He also gets a ride some days with our roommates to school. They all help with food, dishes and cleaning, and I actually had time to clean the bathroom (while giving my kids a bath at the same time, nonetheless...) but its something I wouldn't normally have too much time for. I kept the place pretty clean on my own, but with two babies and all their work plus house and school there was a bit of dust here and there. I do feel badly when we stay up late in the living room and the mates are tired, or when we go to bed late and my sis is already trying to sleep in there. Many people can't tolerate that kind of living, and it is difficult at times. But I think the women like each others company (at least I need it!) and we all get along fairly well. We haven't fought too much, at least not with each other. I like the idea of communal living, and I like that it's working out for me. We take care of each other, and because we have shared responsibility, it isn't a crisis if someone else leaves something that needs to be cleaned because we all clean up after each other. We don't keep tabs because we see it as fair since we all share work evenly. It isn't regimented and strict, actually the way I see real communal living is laid back and just having the respect to help each other out. I think its when you give everyone too specific of a chore that it becomes "YOU didn't do YOUR job". While my husband usually took out the garbage (or at least I tried to get him to) we've all done it in turn, and try to not complain too much that we did his job. The only time that happened a lot was when I was alone with him and felt like I was doing 99% of the domestic work, even when he no longer had a job. While I still think I do much of the work, I get help from people who really mean to help. We don't give them a deadline to leave or make them pay for things, and I try not to ask too much from them and not do anything myself. Maybe because it is relaxed, they volunteer their help more readily. This helps relieve some of my stresses and we all get time to study (sort of).

Sisters, sisters

So I haven't written in a while, here I am again. I knew that would happen, not like having two babies causes any sort of dizziness and disappearance of time...there I am again. But now I am back to school. Away I go again! Wonderful Kean University in Union NJ, only an hour away and a 6am wake up. How refreshing! But I do have to say, my older sister comes by train to babysit when I have classes, and I really appreciate that. It makes me think of how important siblings are and how I wish my mom had about 20 others just to help me out. :) But Zalah has Lyla and Lyla has Zalah. I keep thinking about how miserable I was to find out I was pregnant again (and to BE pregnant again!). Maybe it just looks better from the outside, but I keep thinking that *if* I ever got pregnant again, I would try to like it. (I'm even thinking of the possibility of natural birth again!! HELLO INSANITY! :D) I do love the little ones, little Lyla especially makes me want to eventually possibly have one more. (Because I know she will have to grow up! :( I can't even accept that yet.) But even if I don't have any more, I just feel blessed that they are so close (now that its OVER WITH!) and they have each other. They get along so well, I know they truly love each other and that it was meant to be this way. <3>my own sanity!

In the meantime, I am obsessed with being a belly dancer! Who knew those moves were so hard!!

Three Cups of Tea

I just finished reading this book about Greg Mortenson's humanitarian efforts in Pakistan and Afghanistan to build schools for children, written by David Oliver Relin. I urge every single person to read this book. I believe it is pretty popular, but if you haven't already, please give it a read. Tell everyone you know about it. I've always had a soft spot in my heart for Afghanistan, and if anyone knows any Pakistanis, you know they are the nicest people on Earth. At least I think so. I'm so inspired by this book, that I want to do something to help. I've been working on tee-shirt designs for a while now, and when I finally launch my site, I hope to donate all the proceeds to his charity, the Central Asia Institute. (We'll see if I ever sell any.) I know my small blog isn't a lot to get the message out that many already know of, but I can't not say anything. Just as I finished reading the book, while sitting in the car in the parking lot of Home Depot, an elderly man came to his car parked next to ours. We exchanged "How are you"'s, and he said "I hope the book is good!" I said "It is! Three Cups of Tea!" He said "What? O yea, I read that one." I was so excited about our little exchange. "It's SOOO good!" I gushed. "Yea, I enjoyed it! Take care." He said. I loved just blurting out how I feel to a random stranger and getting a good response out of it. I really think this is an important book and we should all share these feelings of inspiration with each other.

I have two kids!?

I'm usually so busy with two kids that I don't have time to think about it, much less write about it. But then sometimes I stop and I reflect on it, and I say "I have two kids!?" It seems like I've had an infant forever. But that infant is also growing up, and I see that every day. Then at the same time, I see my baby, and I wonder "I have a baby? Where did that come from!? I don't feel like I just had a baby." I'm confused. But really, I love to marvel at Lyla, I don't feel like I should have a baby this small, yet I do. It's cliched, but it is precious, and I love it. Actually, I must say at least a thousand times a day how I don't want her to grow up. Zalah can be the one we watch grow, and Lyla can stay a baby forever! Yea right, but I wish she could!And I also love to see Zalah do amazing things as she grows at the same time. It is pretty disorienting, but I try to appreciate how awesome it is to still get to have a precious little one when most parents are still rocking one at this stage. Its not a contest or anything, but this is usually the time when parents want a sibling for their child/ren or just miss the infancy that ends as the child grows into their own individual person.


On a similar note, Zalah pooped in the potty and it was the most exciting thing ever.

Love the Leash

I've been away in California visiting my super awesome grandmother for the past two weeks. (Ok, I've been home for a while, things are busy, you know!?) No matter where you go on vacation, if you have the kids, it's still tough. Sometimes even more so than at home where you have everything you need and don't have to worry about baby-proofing. Well, to help ease this situation, we chanced upon something that I thought about possibly buying before while at a store one day. I'll tell you what it is in a minute. It couldn't have come at a better time. I think because of the loss of control we have while so far away and the child's strong desire to explore and leave you in their dust, we felt really overwhelmed. So we went for it; we bought a baby leash. I know many people are really against them, but you know what? I love it. Zalah loves it. We all think its a great thing. She has the freedom to explore a little but not be far from us. Now, I know what you are thinking, why not just hold her hand? Well she really hates that. And just walking a few feet behind her is not predictable enough, she could always run off too fast or get into something. And it is easier to forget about her that way or get distracted. Maybe the idea is also so the parent is more aware and not just for the child.
We tried it out for the first time at the beach. In California, the beach is often very small, and there is hardly any sand at all in high tide. We parked on the street and went down cement steps to get to the beach at a part that was pretty rocky and closer to the water to start out with then over to the left or right. Well a large wave came and scared Zalah and knocked her on her butt and side. It wasn't very high where we were standing, maybe about her waist sitting down, but because she fell in, I was able to pull up on the strong harness that clips across the chest in two places to help lift her up before I could get my arm around her. I thought right away how great this thing is. She loves feeling independent with her monkey friend on her back, and I know she is safe and in my watch.We also brought it to the San Diego zoo, so if she got tired of the stroller (which she always does) we could take her out and let her have a little more room to get to know the animals. She loved that. In fact, she loves animals so much, that she grabbed on the bars and wouldn't let go! Even when I tried to take her off to take her into the petting zoo!
I think its a great invention. I know many parents and people disagree on using it, but if I see a fellow parent with one, I'll understand. I know it's hard to even use it because you always wonder what people think, but we think it works, so we just don't focus on that. And maybe for all the doubters, this will give you the other opinion!

Nursing Bras

Alright ladies, we're huffing pregnant women for months, and then have that lovely bowl of jelly as a belly for a few months after, and I don't know about you, but I feel ready for some sexy. Enter nursing bra. And it is SO not it. I actually tried on nursing bras while I was still pregnant at my favorite place, the Dain Shope. It is a specialty shop that caters to us Lusty Busties as well as everyone else.

And yet, sadly, even here the nursing bras were mostly matronly and boring. Not like I had ANY luck at all in any other place. They did have a huge selection though, so I left with two Elle Macpherson Maternelles. These models were obviously not pregnant.

Since I was pregnant, I bought these in a larger band size, and it was comfortable since it had six sets of hooks. Yes, SIX! It is wireless, which is great for a pregnant belly, and it doesn't show under shirts. Many people thought it was pretty sexy for a nursing bra, which I wouldn't go so far as to say sexy, but it was a lot nicer than many out there. I wore it after giving birth the first time too, and its stretchy wireless cups gave a lot of room for size changes. It was lower cut when I was engorged, but it still fit well. Maybe it was a little sexy then. ;) Unfortunately, the band size is far bigger than I am normally, and once I started losing weight again, it grew larger and larger on me. Now I have to say, it is far too big. Many of my complaints are based on this alone, and not the actual bra, so I want to be sure to make a note of that. I don't like that it seemed so high up that it showed over the top of some tanks. But this could be because of the bra being the wrong size. The cups now also overtake my whole breast, leaving extra material, again because of it being too large.

Well, I decided I wanted a new, sexier (if I could find it) nursing bra. I found it. Again, Elle Macpherson knows her shit. I found the La Mere Bra in Tea.
I don't want to take this bra off. I actually feel sexy and normal again, and it fits well. It has six sets of hooks as well, (though I'm on the smallest one and have no where to go...) and even though it is lacy, it is so comfortable. I have a few issues with it that I think could be worked on. Firstly, the adjusters in the back are the short kind, so if you need more lift, you have a limit. It usually is ok for me, but I worry about it stretching and not being able to tighten it past that limit. Secondly, like all nursing bra's I've tried, the clips are sort of high up, so sometimes you really have to dig up your shirt to get it off. But it does come off and go on with one hand, which is great. It is lower cut, which is a plus, but the lace does show through some shirts. More so when you are engorged and it gives you a sort of quadruple boob syndrome. It also is wireless, something I NEVER thought I'd like in a bra, but I feel lifted and supported. Even with these issues, I think its a great, sexy bra, and so is the Materelle as long as they fit right! I highly recommend going to get fitted for bras, as these women know what they are doing. Don't assume your size or buy bras that don't fit! It can cause saggy boobs or a painful back. Or just plain look wrong. And if you live near Morristown NJ, check out the Dain Shope, they have all kinds of things to make you feel like a lady again!

Carlos & Gabby's!

I have to start by saying, yesterday was amazing. Chaim was a sweetheart and bought me a day at the spa, which was so wonderful. He is the best! After that I was supposed to meet a friend in Brooklyn, so we decided to try out Carlos and Gabby's afterward. We had tried their nachos before because they have a location by our friend Jack's house, but wanted to try more.

I'm not writing a review, but I thought the food was great. They gave a lot for the price, which for kosher food was pennies. (O yea! Its kosher!) What I did want to write about is the experience with the other random diners that night.

When we got there, Zalah was already pretty grumpy and over tired. I immediately stole bells and maracas off the counter and then asked if I could give it to her to play with. I was dressed a tab bit old school for me, including knee high combat boots with skulls on the toe. I had to do a quick transformation earlier, but what a difference a skirt makes! I wondered if people would think I was just a rebellious kid, but I didn't focus on it too much. Besides, I'm not trying to be rebellious, I am rebellious! And the clothing just happened to be situational, I don't do it everyday anymore. Zalah got anxious and wanted to walk around a few times, and being herself, she just went right up to random people at their tables and would babble and wave. So many people were nice to her, talking back and saying how cute she was. She climbed the stairs and got angry when I took her back down to go home, and had a screaming fit including throwing her maraca across the room. I looked at the table next to me and apologized because I thought she might have hit them with it. The woman said "Its ok, I came out here to escape this kind of thing!" I laughed and said I feel bad that she didn't avoid it in the end, but she was cool about it. I strapped Zalah in and said "If you don't behave, we'll marry you off to gypsies when your 13!" I noticed the woman with a blonde shaitel and a Bugaboo stroller a few tables up started to laugh. As we were passing her table, I tried to maneuver our double stroller through her stroller and the nearest tables. She tried to move it for us, but there wasn't room so just moved the tables. Since I try to be nice, and we were already so well acquainted with the whole dining room, I asked if she had a girl or a boy and the age. She said it was a boy who was three months old. He was adorable, laying down sleeping in the stroller. (Now I see why they are so desirable! No need to pack a crib! Though you could probably buy a much cheaper knock off.) I told her the girls ages, and then she gushed "You guys are like, angels! You're so chilled out, you don't get mad." I was totally taken aback! I didn't even think about how people were watching our reaction to the kids behavior, let alone how she could think that with Miss Goth Queen of the Universe as their mother! I felt like that was very nonjudgmental of her to see past the image to what was really happening. But of course I had to snap back to reality, so I replied "Oooo no.... we get mad!" "I know! Sometimes you just want to scream!" She said. "Yea, there are days when I just have to put them down somewhere and go outside to really scream or something." I reassured her. I wish I had some snazzy blog cards like Sarah to hand out at that moment! But I didn't, and maybe my blog would have scared her, so we said good luck and good bye. And you know, I really felt good after we left. That's such a great compliment for us. Even though we know its not always true, it feels good to know that maybe sometimes, we can handle it. We weren't trying to impress anyone there, we just wanted to keep the kids happy for themselves and everyone, and we do that a lot with jokes and being silly. So many people criticize your parenting style or don't understand your sense of humor with them, so its such a great relief to find people who do. It was so sweet of her to admire us and say something about it. And kids are great for causing conversation among cool strangers!


Then I had a nightmare about hipsters who didn't give me any ice cream! >:(